I’ve decided to write this post as throughout my life I have really struggled when it comes to comparing myself to others. I can happily tell myself now, that I have finally taught myself that comparing myself to others is a really unhealthy mindset to have and that I am who I am and be proud of myself otherwise, I’ll be constantly miserable in my life if I carry on this way.
I’m going to go through a few different points that have fused this unhealthy necessity to compare myself, often to people I have never even met a day in my life! What i’m not trying to do with this post is to get sympathy or pity, what I’m wanting to do is enlighten women that WE NEED TO STOP! Not only women but everyone should love themselves and focus on the highlights we bring to the world.
When I think back to the first time in my life that I compared myself, it had to be around the age of 10. I’m an only child and I was an extremely shy child and I still am in a way, so my cousins became my siblings. One of my cousins is my best friend, we have a four month age gap and we are so similar in the way we think, fashion and humor. Now i’m not writing this to be mean or throw any shade to her but this was the beginning of how I would compare myself.
This was only minor comparing as it’s like anyone with a best friend, you notice and admire the qualities which can fuel your friendship. Although we have so much in common, we were/still are very opposite (sounds so stupid when you think about it) for example she still does and back then is very slim, perfect blonde hair… perfect skin blah blah and back then/still now I had issues with my weight, I hated my hair and I had acne, which I still have issues with. So everyday I would just compare myself to her, wishing every night I could be just as thin as her, be as athletic and popular as her.
Growing up I’ve always had this in the back of my head, thinking to myself i’m always going to be that ugly cousin which looking back on was such a childish way of thinking but when you’re going through puberty you do! It’s only now that we are both adults that I can see my own qualities and admire them myself.
My god, as much as I am endlessly scrolling through Instagram and Facebook there is not one day I don’t think, god I wish I had that body, I wish I had her skin, oh my god she has so many likes on her picture! And I can bet you not, that everyone who owns a Instagram account can agree with me!
Social media can be a really unhealthy addiction especially for young impressionable girls, thankfully I didn’t grow up with the likes of Instagram however, there was always magazines telling us what to look like and for myself who still battles with a lot of weight issues, I really do fear for young girls of this generation.
When I was younger I ALWAYS compared my body to other girls. I could never find anything I loved about myself but I never really fully understood that all women are different. Instagram I find to be yet a wonderful thing but yet again very dangerous. You just don’t know whats going on behind the lens of a photograph. Did you see that fitness guru on Instagram with the big booty and the toned abs devour a full pizza and six cans at the week? No! You only get to see the steamed kale and sweet potato she made for her 600 calorie diet for the day. Did you see the aspiring MUA cry her self to sleep about her acne? No!
I still too find myself comparing myself to the Instagram world but, every now and again I need to give my head a wobble and remember, what you see if not always what you get, these people are still having everyday struggles. I mean I don’t post the 40 odd other selfies I took unreal I found the right one, would you?
This is my first ever relationship that I’ve had and it took me 19 years to find a decent man who loves me. I’m not going to lie and say my relationship is perfect, like all relationships you have your ups and downs but we work at them, we have balanced a way in how our relationship works for us as a couple. But early days as I’ve never been in one before I would look at my friends around me and compare my relationships to theirs, how much time they would spend together and how many presents they’d get from their boyfriends, silly stuff like that but I never really thought about what they might not be telling me.
I have friends who have the most shittest boyfriends who are so inconsiderate and they will complain day in and day out about them, but as soon as they buy them a new pair of boots they’ve been hounding them for, for months now it will go straight on the internet captioned “isn’t my boyfriend just the best?!”… bitch were you saying that a week ago when you were slagging him off to me?
People who have the perfect life and the perfect relationships don’t need to be posting it all over social media, what happened to keeping some things private? I mean i’m not saying no photos of each other and all that I just find a lot of things to be so hypocritical.
Comparing your relationship to others will only make you push the person you love away. I’ve learnt I don’t want my relationship to be like anyone else’s, we make each other happy and that’s all that matters.
Again I want to express, this post is not for pity. I’m wanting my blog to be a voice for women, to reach out and let women know they aren’t the only one to have this mind set. I wish I had someone or a blog to look at to give me reassurance when I was younger and developing into a woman. Thank you for reading, any comments of your own experiences are more than welcome!